


The Talent Show

by skysummit



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cute, F/M, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-01-29 21:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12639723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skysummit/pseuds/skysummit
Summary: Draco's always been a little obsessed with Luna, but he's never had the guts to do anything about it. Now, a new event at Hogwarts provides him with the perfect opportunity to sort out his feelings for her. The only problem is Draco's complete lack of courage do actually do anything. But he can overcome that, right? Right. It'll be fiiiine.Luna doesn't have any particular opinion of Draco, except that he's maybe a little funny in the head. But she's willing to help out a fellow classmate with her singing voice. Little does she know what Draco is trying to plan.story written by Cassie





	1. The Announcement

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also posted on Wattpad, and soon to be on ffn, under the username thecassassin. The versions may differ slightly due to editing while posting on separate accounts. Also, this story was completely inspired by the song "Weird" by Allie and Foster and you should listen to the song before reading. Other than that, enjoy!
> 
> PS, I'm clearly not J.K. Rowling, so anything recognizable from the actual series is not mine.

Draco was sitting in the Great Hall, beside Blaise and across from Pansy, when Loony walked in. Draco always knew the exact instant that she arrived because he always happened to be casually staring at the door, just waiting to catch the first glimpse of her overly long hair and bad fashion choices. He never failed to make a remark about it. Today's was a real winner: "Loony's looking particularly daft today."

She was looking daft as a duck, but that was why he liked looking at her. She, at least, was interesting, especially compared to the rest of the school's population. He always found her outfits hypnotizing, to the point of obsession. To be more direct, he found her worthy of obsession.

Make no mistake, Draco did not acknowledge Loony Lovegood, nor did he acknowledge his own dumb emotions. It would be social suicide to attempt friendship with Loony, let alone confess to the fact that he harbored _feelings_ for such a weirdo.

Draco knew he was a coward for it, but he was in Slytherin for a reason. He was super into self preservation, and he knew how to get ahead. Admitting he had a thing for Loony would get him nowhere in life. _But it might get him somewhere in_ _Loony's_ _life_ a tiny voice inside him muttered. He quickly smacked that voice upside the head and tuned back in to the conversation Blaise was having with Pansy.

"Damn, Weaslette's looking fine today," Draco nearly spit out his drink when Blaise muttered that to Pansy. Of course, Pansy's response was even worse, "But you know who's looking even better? The Potty and Weasel."

For Merlin's sake, was Draco the only person he knew who didn't want to get into a Gryffindor's pants? Well, there was the one time, but seriously, it was _just one time_. Blaise snapping his fingers in Draco's face was enough of a shock to force Draco out of his own head and back to the present. It appeared that his delightful friends were finished with their inspections of various Gryffndor arses and were ready to listen to Draco's witty remarks about Loony's hair and outfit.

Draco fluffed his hair and straightened his posture, fully prepared to make his friends wait as punishment for ignoring his earlier. So, instead of repeating his remark, he took two bites of roast beef, one sip of pumpkin juice, and coughed delicately into his hand, while casually checking to see where Loony was.

The waiting game was the power struggle the Slytherins all played with each other on a regular basis. Draco had never lost, and he didn't intend to now. He just had to hold out until Pansy's face got one more shade darker.

Like clockwork, her face shifted from tomato red to magenta, and she spat out, "Well?"

"Well what Parkinson?"

"What base comment about Loony will you bestow on us today?"

"Simply the observation that she looks as daft as a duck, and that a bloke would have to be insane to want to deal with that on a daily basis."

"And yet you never fail to deal out a comment on a daily basis," it was Blaise who interrupted, but Pansy nodded along, a huge, smug smirk on her face. Blaise's comment was a daily occurrence that followed Draco all the way through each day until he called Loony a bad name and reassured himself that no one, not even his best friend, could tell that he had more than a mean spirited interest in the kooky Ravenclaw.

As it was, Draco simply huffed once, shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes in his mouth, and muttered, "At least I'm not running after a Weasley's skirt."

"At least I have the bollocks to chase a skirt," Blaise was ever calm, which only infuriated Draco more. He was about to retaliate and maybe go cause a bit of physical harm to Loony when Professor Mcgonagall stood up and tapped her spoon against her water glass. She only waited until it was moderately quiet before waving her wand casually at the Gryffindor table and silencing them. Then, she amplified her voice and announced in her elegant, yet creeky old voice, "Dumbledore  has an announcement children! So sit down and listen or there will be house points removed!"

Dumbledore stood and smiled slowly at all the students, "As you all know, things are rather...tense in the world right now. In light of this, the rest of the teachers and I have decided that it might be best if we introduce some new events to Hogwarts in an effort to alleviate some pressure. The first one will be a talent competition. I got the idea from a Muggle program called Britain's Got Talent. Rules and Regulations will be posted soon. That is all. Enjoy some pudding!"

For Merlin's sake, this was ridiculous. Who in their right mind would ever willingly put themselves in front of fellow students and try and show off? Okay, to be honest, Draco did that every day, but to do it on a stage? That was just tacky. He couldn't wait to see who he could make fun of. Maybe Longbottom was even lamer than he appeared. Maybe Potter was secretly a ballet dancer. The possibilities were endless.

A sick part of Draco's mind whispered, _maybe Loony has an amazing talent and everyone will love it so much that they'll stop thinking she's loony and then everyone will love her and_ _Longbottom_ _will get off his_ _arse_ _and ask her out and she'll say yes and they'll get married and have ten children and you'll die alone in your stupid mansion while making dumb comments about people's clothes._

The logical part of Draco's mind scoffed _that'll never happen and if it did, it wouldn't matter because I don't care what happens to Loony as long as it happens far away from me and I can make fun of it._

The conscious part of Draco's mind decided that the best possible thing to do was to make sure Lovegood didn't take part in the competition at all. No matter what. Draco's future, and possibly his sanity, relied on it. And so, while his eyes followed Loony out the doors, his mind followed her to possible scenarios in which she would be prevented from participating. He had to be honest when he said most of them involved bad puns and dumb jokes about Loony's hair. Neither of those things was going to stop her from entering. He was going to have to come up with something really good.

Draco was in the middle of coming up with something mediocre to terrible when Blaise interrupted, "Stop staring at the door like a ponce. She's already left."

"I was not staring after her."

"Then what were you doing? Checking out Potter's arse?"

Pansy joined in, "Was he doing that again? I always miss it!"

"I've never checked out Potter's arse in my life!"

They both ignored him and chattered on about the merits of Potter's arse and how red their parents would turn if they knew either of them thought Potter had a fine arse.

Draco got up and left the table without finishing his pudding. He was going to have to plot somewhere his nitwit friends couldn't find him.


	2. The Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Dumbledore's announcement, all Draco wants is to be on his own, but that's always been too much to ask, hasn't it. But since Luna's the one ruining his solitude, it's pretty okay with him

Apparently, the only place Draco's pathetic mind could come up with to be alone was the Forbidden Forest. What kind of stupid idea was that? Who was dumb enough to willingly venture into a forest dangerous enough to be forbidden to _wizards_? Honestly, Draco could barely call himself a Slytherin at this point. He was in a dark forest, ruining his best shoes, tearing up his favorite cloak, and for what?

Oh, that's right. He saw Loony Lovegood duck in here literally two seconds ago. And apparently he followed her?

Oops.

Well, since he was there already, he figured he might as well wander around for a little. Maybe keep an eye out for Loony. Casually though of course.

And so, that was how Draco found himself wandering through the Forbidden Forest in the middle of the afternoon in late April when he should have been catcalling Slytherin girls wearing too much makeup and too few clothes.

To be honest, he'd been asking himself when doing that had lost its appeal. He couldn't be certain, but he was pretty sure it was the day Loony showed up to that Quidditch match with a huge lion head. Even though she'd been wearing the enemy's colours, there was something undeniably attractive in the way she seemed to confuse even herself every time the head roared. It was like she was calmly aware of a beast on her head but was surprised when it voiced its opinion. Draco had loved it.

After a performance like that, it was impossible for Draco to be interested in anything less. It was like trying to live with the mediocre after having seen something truly magnificent. Like going back to instant coffee after trying (and loving) Italian espresso.

Make no mistake, he'd made a valiant effort. He'd dated several girls, all of them Slytherin and all of them *ahem* _experienced_ _._ But they'd all dumped him. Some of them hated his stupid comments about Loony's hair. Some of them thought he never paid attention to them (they were right; he was always busy checking to see where Loony was). Some of them had the audacity to accuse him if having an all-consuming crush on Loony. He wouldn't deny that he had an all-consuming something for the witch, but a crush? How base. How infantile. How spectacularly impossible. He simply enjoyed making fun of her. All the time.

These were the thoughts circling Draco's mind as he ducked branches and pushed through shrubs. He wasn't exactly sure what he was looking for. He knew Loony would be around nearby, but he had no idea where. He'd often seen her disappear into the forest, but had never had the guts to follow her. Now, it was just his luck that he had the guts and an excuse but no Loony.

He kept walking until the first branch stabbed up through his shoe and right in between his toes. It was at that point that Draco realized that looking for Loony in a massive forest at the end of the day when he had only a few hours' worth of sunlight was maybe not his brightest idea. In fact, it was such a stupid idea that he decided right then and there to turn around, go back to the castle, and never think of Loony ever again.

Draco really meant to keep that promise to himself. He was even turning around to do exactly that when he first heard the singing. He was a little wary, as was to be expected. He was, after all, in an enchanted forest where disembodied voices that sang should be regarded with extreme caution. However, it only took him three seconds to fall in love with the voice.

The first second was to realize that the tune of the song was something he recognized to be mundane.

The second second was to notice to words. Nothing magical about them.

The third second was to recognize Loony's voice.

Draco was off and running before he even remember to fix the hole in the bottom of his shoe. He followed Loony's voice through trees and into a cave. But the cave was actually a tunnel and on the other side, there was a small clearing.

The clearing was the kind of green Draco usually preferred to associate with his House. After all, who or what else would be worthy of claiming such a deep and majestic shade of emerald? However, to every rule there are exceptions. Loony was the exception.

There was no way there was anything more glorious than the sight of Loony Lovegood perched on a low-hanging tree branch with her long blonde hair blowing in the breeze. She was wearing a huge violet and yellow jumper with sleeves that went all the way down to her knees. Draco assumed she was wearing a skirt, but the hem of the jumper covered it. Her legs were far from bare though. Bright blue leggings peeked out from her jumper, leading down to red trainers that Draco was sure Potter had called 'converse' at some point.

All in all, it was a sight to behold. Draco felt blessed.

Of course, being blessed is something Draco had always known he was. He was, after all, Merlin's gift to witches (and on occasion, wizards) everywhere The question now was to figure out how he could use this newest gift.

Unfortunately, before he could come up with anything really excellent, Loony stopped singing and said calmly, "Draco, I know you're there. You'd best come out of the tunnel before the Snagglerooks get you. I've read they particularly like blokes with blonde hair and grey eyes."

Draco had a one liner ready before he even knew what he was doing. "Do you and Snagglerooks have that in common?"

"No, but it would appear that we do share a love of small, poorly dressed mice."

There was something so absurd about the way she said it, never mind the statement itself , that made Draco choke on his own laughter. Loony cocked her head to the side and asked calmly, "Did you eat a Whisperrye on your way in?"

It made him laugh even harder, and Draco decided then and there that he was going to find a way to make absolutely sure that Loony was going to be in the talent show, and that she was going to be so bloody good that everyone would listen when she talked about her stupid Nargles and Wackspurts or whatever she was always rambling about.

The first part of his plan was to make sure Loony actually had a talent beside dressing strangely and making him laugh.

Draco collected himself enough to ask bluntly, "Are you good at anything, Loony?"

She thought for a long moment, "I can hold my breath for three and a half minutes."

"Good, good. Not exactly what we're looking for right now, but I'll keep that in mind."

"It will be helpful to know if you ever decide to drown me."

Draco was chuckling again before he really processed her comment. There was something about the way she spoke that made him be honest about his reactions. He also had to stop and wonder how often she make a joke in that breathy voice and no one bothered to notice. But that was for another time. Right now, he was going to cajole her into singing for him again, just to make sure she was good.

It turned out to be harder than anticipated. But Draco had decided that he was going to hear her sing, and Draco Malfoy's decisions were always, _alway_ s carried through.


	3. The Great Hall

It didn't occur to Luna that maybe she should have sung for Draco until she was sitting in the Great Hall the next day, watching Draco storm in. He was clearly having a hissy fit, and he had yet to make a single comment about her hair or outfit. She almost missed it.

It wasn't that she had been deliberately trying to avoid singing for Draco, it was just that he kept asking her all these silly questions like whether or not Neville knew she could sing or if any blokes had ever looked at her 'indecently'. Honestly, she'd found the whole encounter unspeakably entertaining and was now quite concerned for Draco's we'll being. The way he'd switched topics so fast clearly indicated a Fanged Fluffdrag infestation in the lower left half of his brain.

However, despite her concerns, Draco had refused to listen unless she sang, and if there was one thing (possibly the only thing) that made Luna angry, it was Draco Malfoy pretending he could waltz around ordering her around when he his mind was clearly controlled by Fanged Fluffdrags. So, instead of just singing, she talked circles around him.

Talking circles was a particular talent of Luna's. It was quite simple really. A person said something,and then Luna responded with a comment about a new breed of Nargles she had read about recently. From there, the conversation often spiraled into the depths of what Luna knew about Nargles or her partner simply walked off muttering to themselves.

Draco had been more stubborn than most. Every time Luna tried to speak of his Fanged Fluffdrag problem, Draco mentioned how he had read that a Fluffdrag enjoyed the sound of singing and would often leave its victim just to listen. It had been maddeningly accurate. In fact, Luna would have been sorely tempted to try and fix Draco by singing if Draco had not had to audacity to demand that Luna help him.

Luna was very proud to say that she was like Hermione in her determination to have people use their manners when speaking with her. It made no difference if they were awful behind her back, but it took a certain kind of rude to refuse to say 'please' to someone's face.

And so, without really thinking it through, Luna calmly informed Draco that she would sing to him only when those blasted Fanged Fluffdrags sorted out their priorities and asked nicely. Then, she'd hopped off her branch and wandered back in the direction of the castle.

Now, almost a full day later, Draco's Fluffdrag problem seemed to be worsening. He was in a frightful mood, storming around the castle and grounds. He'd even knocked several off his teammates off their brooms during a Quidditch practice. Luna had seen him trip a third year this morning, and then burn the poor boy's robes. Granted, that behavior was semi-normal for Draco, but it was odd that he hasn't helped the boy up and fixed his robes once the other older Slytherins were finished laughing.

That was one thing Luna had always found strange about Draco. He could never sort himself out on whether to be cruel or kind. It was dizzying how quickly he went from malicious to grudgingly accommodating and then to threatening. This year alone, Luna had seen Draco do the same routine thirty-seven times. First, he harmed a younger student in the presence of several Slytherin. Then, once all of Draco's friends were gone, Draco fixed the younger student back up and often helped them carry their things to their next class. Then, at the door, Draco threatened to do them serious harm next time if they ever told a soul.

The whole routine was really quite daft, and Luna had to wonder if Draco hadn't been suffering from a Thunderwisp attack during his entire school career. Keeping that in mind, Luna decided that it was time to offer her help again.

She waited outside to Great Hall for Draco to walk by. Experience proved that if she stood in one place long enough, Draco would arrive and compliment her. Her personal favourite was, "Loony, that's a lovely shade of vomit."

Make no mistake, Luna knew that Draco meant to hurt her feelings every time he opened his mouth, but there was something about the way he glanced over his shoulder after walking away that made her think that maybe he was checking to see if she was alright. Or if she was going to curse him. Either way, he cared a little.

So, Luna sat but the wall for a good twenty minutes before she heard Draco's signature drawl coming from the Hall. He was walking to the doors with his friends, Blaise and Pansy. They were discussing what Luna assumed was a small mammal and some loo fixtures, because Blaise and Pansy kept referring to a 'Weaselette' and 'Potty'. Every once in a while, Draco would scoff at the topics. Maybe he didn't appreciate the fine art of keeping a small mammal in a loo. It was not for Luna to judge his artistic beliefs.

Instead, it was for her to offer her help. So, she stood up,dusted herself off, and waited. Draco round the corner, stopped short, and scowled. Blaise ran in to Draco's back, then Pansy hit Blaise. It remind Luna of an old video Hermione had shown her. Something called a Pongo line or a Bongo line. Something like that.

Draco recovered before his friends and kind of whisper hissed, "What are you doing here?"

Luna whispered hissed back because it seemed like the polite thing to do, "I'm waiting for you."

Draco's scowl got darker while Blaise's eyebrows shot up into his hairline and Pansy turned purple trying to hold in a laugh. Luna looked at all their faces and decided to help Draco out.

"I remembered you had that little problem yesterday when we were talking in the forest and you were trying to persuade me. So I came around today to let you know that if you managed to ask nicely, I might be obliged to help you out. We can do it in private if you prefer to not let anyone know."

Pansy lost the battle with her laughter. Blaise stumbled backwards and slid down the wall, holding his stomach as he laughed. Draco stood stock still with his mouth hanging open. Since none of them seemed ready to answer her, Luna shrugged and walked away. As she turned to corner, she heard Draco yelling, "She didn't mean it like  _that_ _!_  As if I would ever-"

He was cut off by more howls of laughter from Blaise and Pansy. Luna smiled to herself. It was good to know she was making someone's day a little happier.


	4. The Meeting

Draco Malfoy was quite certain that he had never seen anything quite as magnificent as Loony Luna Lovegood's retreating back after delivering the most innocent sounding sexual innuendo he'd ever heard. He was also very sure that he had never been so annoyed or embarrassed in his life.

He wasn't sure how he felt about the fact that Luna - she had definitely earned the right be to called by her first name - had made him feel so unsettled. Because in the midst of his annoyance and embarrassment was fierce admiration and perhaps the barest touch of adoration, and Draco was caught between deciding which emotion he should ignore first.

Slowly, the sound of Pansy wheezing and Blaise chuckling returned and Draco realized that he was going to have to ignore all the emotions for the time being. So, instead of chasing after Luna, he shook his head and faced his friends with a blank face and one raised eyebrow, "What's so funny?"

Blaise answered, "Just the fact that Loony Lovegood made it sound like you two are having a tryst later."

Draco didn't think his eyebrow could go any higher as he said, "What makes you think we aren't? Maybe I want to see what she's like."

Pansy gasped, still trying not stop laughing, "I'm pretty certain that since you shrieked like a banshee that you would never do that with her, it's safe to say she isn't your flavour of the week."

Draco made a mental note to never ever speak to Pansy again and go glue her socks to the bottom of her trunk.

Just then, Blaise seemed to remember that he was a cold-hearted Slytherin bastard who could not be seen laughing unless it was cruelty at some younger student. He pulled himself together and asked, with an almost straight face, "So?"

Draco's tone was distinctly annoyed, but the fact that he was staring st the corner Luna had disappears behind kind of ruined his look as he growled, "So, what?"

"So are you going to meet up with her?"

Before he could stop himself, Draco murmured, "I don't know."

Pansy's eyebrows shot up and she grinned, "Does ickle Drakey have a  _crush_?"

Draco snorted, "Hardly. Just some unfinished business."

Pansy and Blaise shared a look, but they let Draco believe that he was fooling them. They waited a few moments for Draco to realize that chasing Luna down right away would seem too desperate, but he didn't seem inclined to play hard to get, so Blaise announced that he had an essay due the next day, and Pansy casually mentioned that she had a clandestine rendezvous to get to.

And just like that, Draco was free to run after Luna. Except, of course, he did not  _run_ _._ That would be ridiculous.

But not as ridiculous as losing sight of Luna, so Draco picked up the pace to a steady trot and rounded the corner just in time to see Luna slip behind a statue.

Unfortunately for Draco, the fact that he saw which statue Luna was behind did not mean he knew how to follow her. He casually wandering around the statue, which was of a particularly ugly witch, for a solid four minutes before realizing how dumb he looked. So he left, muttering to himself under his breath the whole way.

* * *

 

Seven feet in the air, Luna was crouched in an alcove of the statue, behind the witch's floppy hat. She watched Draco shuffle away, wondering why he was at the same statue as she. Maybe he had been looking for hobb goblins too? That was probably it. Well, she wasn't going to worry about him missing out on seeing them. Luna returned to her small field notebook and settled back down to wait for her goblins.

* * *

 

Draco returned to the witch a little less than an hour later, armed with a book, a muffin, and Potter's invisibility cloak. It had taken quite a bit to nick to cloak off of Potter, but it was worth it to save what was left of Draco's dignity, and by Merlin's beard, Draco was going to protect his little dignity shreds.

Draco settled down in a corner with the invisibility cloak over him, facing the statue. He was going to see Luna when she left the statue, even if it took him all bloody night. He was not going to take his eyes off that statue for even one second.

* * *

 

Draco opened his eyes to the sound of small feet scrabbling on stone. His thoughts were somewhat hazy, and he was only awake enough to be angry at himself for falling asleep, but not awake enough to know why he shouldn't have slept. It was all very confusing in his mind and he made a mental note to think about it in depth when he wasn't so sleepy.

As it was, he was highly interested in knowing what was making those noises. So interested, in fact, that he abandoned his post in the corner and cautiously tip toed up to the witch statue. Something from behind her head scrabbled for a few seconds before falling silent again. Then noise, then silence. And again.

Draco decided whatever it was could be delt with in the morning and he turned to leave. Just then, a floaty voice he knew all too well whispered, "Hello Draco."

He turned around so fast that his blonde hair whipped him across the face. And stuck there. So Draco was staring up at Luna Lovegood, the most gloriously fae-like girl to possible ever walk to planet, with platinum blonde hair stuck on his lips and in his mouth. She did not politetly wait for him to sneakily pull the strands out of mouth, but rather she jumped right into excitedly saying, "Did you see the goblins?!"

Draco muttered under his breath, "I see one goblin here."

Luna's face practically ignited, "You do? I'm so glad you got to see one, since you've been waiting here so patiently for them."

He was genuinely confused, but thankfully, his Slytherin tendencies saved him from blurting something dumb like 'what? No I wasn't waiting for them, I was waiting for you because I adore you'. Instead, he said, "Yes, it was quite thrilling," and he only sounded moderately sarcastic.

Luna nodded thoughtfully and murmured, "I've always considered goblins to be one of the more thrilling creatures to watch. Did you know that they technically aren't even goblins? Hobb goblins' brains are too small to be true goblins and they're only called goblins because they look like real goblins."

Draco put on the polite face he used when listening to his mother and said, "That is very interesting."

Luna eyed him for a moment and shrugged, "If I'm boring you, you can say something."

Draco's eyebrows shot up and he blurted out, "I was waiting for you!"

His brain shrieked like a dying banshee,  _Merlin's left testicle, we talked about this! You don't blurt out that you've been waiting for her, you bizarre stalker freak! I can't save your sorry arse every time you try and pull this shit! you have to start actually trying to not be weird about her!_

Another part of Draco's brain apologized civilly:  _Sorry_ _._ _It's_ _just_ _I_ _get_ _so_ _flustered_ _when_ _she_ _says_ _something_ _so_ _straightforwardly_ _._

The first Parr of Draco's mind was not impressed:  _Draco_ _,_ _you're_ _better_ _than_ _this_ _._ _Stop_ _acting_ _so_ _whipped_ _._

Draco decided there was nothing sadder than your own brain calling you whipped for a girl while you're still trying to deny the existence of any and all feelings for her.

By the time Draco was done talking with his brain, Luna had moved on to more important matters: "I didn't think you'd want to see me so soon."

"Oh?"

"I thought you'd want to play hard to get, like you normally try to."

Draco would have spit out his drink if he'd been sipping one. His brain shut down and started on fire. Completely useless. He was on his own for this one. His brilliant reaction was to let his jaw hang open and stop breathing until Luna stared talking again, "But that's neither here nor there. Why did you want me to sing?"

Draco recovered his dignity and managed to salvage most of his brain, saying, "Well, Loony, as you know, there is a talent show coming up, and I know you can sing."

"I suppose. I don't like to brag. I only sing to make the fairy-like creatures come out of hiding. They like listening to people sing."

"Yes, well, I want you to sing in the talent show."

She cocked her head to the side like a particularly curious bird, "Why?"

Draco's brain was laughing at him. He was going to take it out and stomp on it later. But, despite being as brainless as Weasley, he managed to come up with something semi-believable: "I want to team up so I can win the prize."

And then he prayed to anyone listening that Luna didn't remember that there was no prize.


	5. Luna Knows

Draco watched in abject terror as Luna's eyebrows lowered slightly in confusion and she said, "Dumbledore didn't mention any prize. Are you sure there is one?"

"Yes. It's, um, it's a trip to go Nargle hunting and I want to win it because my parents' don't support my creatures finding excursions so I need funding."

_Huh_ _,_ his brain murmured, _that_ _wasn't_ _as_ _bad_ _as_ _I_ _thought_ _I_ _would_ _be_ _._ _Well_ _done_ _Draco_ _._ _Top_ _notch_ _lying_ _._ _Have_ _a_ _cookie_ _._

Draco was beyond tired of his mind's sarcastic tone. He was just working up a good rant about it when Luna's face cleared and she said, "Well, if it's Nargle hunting you want, I could help you find some. That way you don't have to worry about the talent competition."

_Haha, what kind of Slytherin are you? Of course she'd rather just help you find_ _Nargles_ _on your own._

"Well, I don't really want to be seen with you."

_*_ _gasp_ _!*_ _Cough_ _up_ _that_ _cookie_ _!_ _You're_ _awful_ _and_ _deserve_ _to_ _have_ _no_ _cookies_ _ever_ _!_ _How_ _could_ _you_ _be_ _so_ _mean_ _?!_ _Never_ _mind_ _that_ _,_ _how_ _could_ _you_ _jeopardize_ _any_ _chance_ _of_ _her_ _singing_ _for_ _you_ _?!_

To Draco's unending surprise, Luna didn't look offended in the least. Rather, she looked quite pleased. Draco was prepared to face some sort of passive aggressive comment that would make him question his reason for living when he noticed that Luna's eyes were focused past his shoulder and on the wall behind his head. With her eyes still glued there, she murmured to herself, "I could have sworn I saw a Red Grantle just there."

With that, she breezed past Draco and floated down the corridor towards the stairs that led to Ravenclaw. It was, by far, the strangest reaction to an insult that Draco had ever seen. In fact, it was so bizarre that he completely forgot to ask Luna if she would sing in the talent show for him. By the time he remembered that he was an almighty Slytherin and she was going to bloody sing whether she liked it or not, she was already gone. Draco resolved to ignore her until she came crawling back and begged for his support.

* * *

 

It had been three days and Draco was getting desperate. Luna hadn't even looked at him once. Not even when he told her, to her _face_ _,_ that her sweater looked like a small mammal had crawled into her closet and shat upon every article of clothing she possessed, then used the sweater to try and clean up after itself. It had been a magnificent insult, worthy of at least a huff, but all Luna had done was stare blankly at him and then walk away, mumbling about her little creatures. Draco wasn't sure if he was impressed with her obliviousness or annoyed hat she didn't even acknowledge his existence.

_You're_ _annoyed_ _._ _Definitely_ _annoyed_ _._

Draco was also in the process of purchasing a new brain, so it was already a very stressful time and the least Luna could do was act insulted when he bloody well insulted her!

Either way, Draco was about ready to set aside his manly pride and ask Luna to sing. He wondered when it had become more important for her to succeed than for him to be right. Probably about the same time he realized that he and Luna would make the most adorable children who had ever lived.

Thank Merlin that new brain was already in the mail.

Anyway, Draco had had three very long days to decide what he was going to do about Luna, and he had come up with nothing. Zilch. Rien. Zero ideas.

Honestly, he'd never had to ask for something, let alone ask more than once, so his experience was a little lacking. He'd already demanded and asked if she'd sing and she'd essentially ignored his questions both times. Normally, he'd just come up with a good scheme to get her attention, find out a dark secret, blackmail her, then consider himself the winner, but he was stumped. The deeper he dug into Luna's life, the less he found to hold over her head. The girl had seen her mother die for goodness sake. What kind of monster could find a way to abuse that information?

No, he was going to have to lower himself to a level previously untouched by Malfoy hands. He was going to beg for Luna's help. He was going to present her with (most of) the facts and pray to anyone listening that she would just say yes.

As far as plans went, it was his worst one ever, but he was already waiting for her at the edge of the Forest, so why not?

_Because_ _you're_ _making_ _a_ _fool_ _of_ _yourself_ _and_ _she'll_ _say_ _no_ _and_ _then_ _blackmail_ _you_ _and_ _it'll_ _be_ _awful_ _._ _This_ _is_ _the_ _worst_ _idea_ _ever_ _._

Draco cursed the timing of his new brain. He wanted the only one back. The one that shipped him and Luna super hard. It would be so much easier to convince himself that this would work when he had a little Muggle rhyme about trees and snogging playing in his ear incessantly. He was considering singing the rhyme to himself, to, you know, boost moral, when Luna appeared.

"Hello Draco. What're you doing here?"

"I'm... I'm here to ask....if you....if you have any more ugly outfits for me to make fun of!"

_Did_ _that_ _seriously_ _just_ _come_ _out_ _of_ _your_ _mouth_ _?!_ _What_ _even_ _if_ _this_ _???_ _Where_ _is_ _my_ _OTP_ _?!?!?!_

_WHERE_ _WERE_ _YOU_ _THIRTY_ _SECONDS_ _AGO_ _WHEN_ _I_ _NEEDED_ _YOU_ _?!?!?!_

Luna didn't even pause, "Not today, but I'm glad that you enjoy my outfits. I find that the colours bring good luck from plythins."

"Wait, that's not what I meant to say."

Luna didn't appear to hear him. It was now or never.

"Luna, I, um, I was really hoping you'd thought about singing in the talent show?"

"I have."

"And?"

She closed her eyes and twirled around in a few circles, then answered in a breezy voice, "I don't think I want to."

"Why not?!" His whole plan was shit to hell. She had to be at least open to the idea if this was going to work!

"I think it would draw too much attention to me. I need to be inconspicuous to keep up my nightly travels to find my creatures."

Oh, that was okay. He could work with that, "But think how wonderful it would be if you were singing and all the Fae types of creatures showed up and everyone saw them. Wouldn't that be great?"

She paused, but then resumed spinning even faster, "I don't think so. I'd feel like I was using them to win and that seems mean."

Oh Merlin, he was going to do it, wasn't he. He couldn't. He wouldn't. "Luna....please. Please Sig in the show. Please."

Draco didn't think he'd ever said please so many times in such a short amount of time. It felt strange and he didn't quite like it. But it worked. Luna stopped spinning with her back to him and said, "Alright," then she murmured to herself, "I didn't think he knew my name. How odd. Perhaps something is making him more attentive and he heard it somewhere."

And with that,she left, leaving Draco feeling like the biggest, guiltiest sap in the world. But at least she'd said yes. That was what was important.


	6. A Conversation in Class

Luna was sitting quietly in Charms, staring out the windows dreamily when the parchment on her desk suddenly raised a corner and slid along her finger, giving her a stinging paper cut. Luna turned her head slowly and tilted it to the side, considering her blood on the edge of the page. It was a stunning contrast between the deep red and the slightly yellow of the page. Truly something she'd like to remember for a long time until she could find the right paints to save it. 

With her observations done, she turned back to the window. She paid no mind to the exasperated sigh behind her, and she didn't even flinch when the paper cut her again. To be perfectly honest, she was quite used to her paper cutting her during random intervals of the day. It was often the result of what she chose to believe were stray charms. Either way, it did no good to acknowledge them, let alone dwell on them.

Draco Malfoy was rather frustrated with Luna. He'd never had this much trouble getting a girl's attention. Did she not feel the cuts? All of a sudden, Draco was ashamed of himself. Even without the fact that he was causing bodily harm to someone particularly innocent, it was like he'd reverted back to being a first year trying to get the attention of a girl he fancied. That was no way to treat someone he considered to be almost his employee at this point. 

_But she's not your employee, you git_ , his brain hissed, _she **is** a girl you fancy. And you're being a right prat about it. You should be ashamed! You don't cut someone to get their attention! Have I taught you nothing?!_

Draco really hated when his brain was right. He also hated that what he once considered his cold and calculating brain had turned to mush and conscious. It was not the Malfoy way, but he had to admit that it was right in this case. He should be treating Luna better. Draco refused to admit to himself that it was because he couldn't bring himself to hurt her. The official reason was that Luna was going to sing for him, and the least he could do was be civil. That was a plausible reason, right? 

Luna felt something completely unexpected. Her paper was brushing her cheek gently, pushing her hair back and running down from the corner of her eye to the end of her chin. It was a ticklish feeling, but much more pleasant than the paper cuts. She turned halfway around in her seat immediately to see who was so horrible at charms that they'd accidentally caressed her face.

Three desks behind and two rows over, Draco was staring at her intently. He twitched his wand and the corner of her page pushed on her chin to turn her forward again. Luna offered him a large, dreamy smile and felt the page falter a moment as she faced the front of the room again. Her paper tapped the back of her head and then settled on the desk right in front of her. She stared at it, and words began to appear as she watched.

And elegantly slanted script said, _We need to develop a schedule for practice._

Luna picked up her quill and wrote back in blocky letters, **Who is this?**

_Who do you think, Loony?  
_

**Well, frankly, I'm hoping  for a high-functioning Rassper.**

_No._

**Then....Draco?**

_Well done! Would you like a biscuit for being such a smart bird?_

**Actually, I would love a biscuit if you have one.**

_No._ **  
**

**But you offered me one.**

_Just.....forget it._ **  
**

**Forget what?**

_Forget that I offered you a biscuit._ **  
**

**You have biscuits? Can I have one?  
**

Draco didn't answer for a long moment and when Luna turned around, he had his head down on his desk like he was asleep. Luna shrugged to herself and tucked the page into her bag to save for later when she needed to contact Draco again. As it was, she much preferred her own methods of conversation. 

* * *

Draco was dead. Completely and utterly. It was for the dumbest reason, too. What kind of Malfoy was defeated by a biscuit? What kind of Slytherin was defeated by a Ravenclaw who was acting particularly daft? His father would never forgive him if he knew. 

Draco was just getting started on his inner monologue about why he'd failed when he noticed a small blue mouse chewing a hole in the cuff of his pant leg. Draco made a small noise in the back of his throat and shook his leg, dislodging the creature. It came right back and started climbing. Draco froze and watched as the creature of his nightmares inched ever closer to his face. He was about to scream bloody murder when the mouse jumped from Draco's shoulder to his desk. There, it proceeded to collapse and flatten itself until it was a vaguely mouse-shaped note that read simply, **Room of Requirement. 9:30. Bring music and a jumper.**

Draco's eyes shot up to see Luna go back to staring out the window, just like nothing had ever happened, but Draco couldn't help but think that maybe her eyes weren't as vacant as he'd thought they were. 


	7. Draco's Music Lesson

Draco prided himself on his upper crust education regarding all things classy and sophisticated. It was something all Malfoys learned, but for Draco it held a higher meaning. So many of his friends were educated and stuffy, but Draco fancied that he was the only one who truly enjoyed the arts. He _liked_ to read classical literature, and to learn about the history of wizardry. He appreciated a good piece of artwork, and to his eternal shame, he'd shed a tear when he'd seen Romeo and Juliet preformed live during a private showing for his family and guests.

The point was, Draco really liked knowing and reading and seeing classical things. But, he found that his education had fallen drastically short when it came to classical music. In short, Draco Lucius Malfoy found that he did not own a single piece of music. None. He didn't even have anything by wizard artists. He'd owled home to ask his mother to send the Manor's best pieces and had received a short note saying that they owned none. In fact, when he thought about it, the only music Draco had ever heard as a child were the wordless songs his old house-elf, Mimsy, had hummed while she fed him. 

Draco was going to have to have a serious talk with his parents when he got home. Respectfully of course.

Either way, talking to his parents was going to do nothing for Draco at the moment, because he was currently facing the very real problem of not having a single song to bring to Luna. Draco couldn't even remember more than two words from the dumb birthday song Mimsy had sung him once, and the whole damn song only had six words total. Draco was a failure. He'd been trying to rectify the situation for a whole hour and a half and had only thirty more minutes before he had to meet Luna, and you could bet your bottom he wasn't going to admit to her that he had nothing. So, he'd done the most reasonable thing he could think of: he bought a guitar.

The guitar itself had belonged to a first year Draco had seen coming down from the Owlery. Draco, in his excitement at seeing an actual real musical instrument, had practically scared the poor boy shitless. He'd demanded he be allowed to buy the guitar from the boy for three times to proper amount and then made an outrageous deal to have the child teach him to play in exchange for Draco's subtle protection. That was how Draco ended up on the stairs of the Owlery, new guitar in hand, plucking out chords and cursing at his new teacher. The boy, Jeremy, was a Slytherin whom Draco had yet to terrorize. That was probably the only reason he'd agreed to teach Draco. Draco was forever grateful, even though he told Jeremy to never expect him to express it. Jeremy hated to admit it, but he quite liked Draco, and he thought it particularly wonderful to see Draco sitting on a dirty step, swearing under his breath as he caught another wrong chord.

Draco, for his part, hated Jeremy with every irrational fiber of his being. The rational bits of him, which had taken suspicious leave of his body, quite liked Jeremy. The boy was funny and clever, and had yet to laugh too loudly at Draco's failure. Draco found he didn't mind having to protect Jeremy. Merlin knew the kid would need it. He was scrawny and had a certain air of innocence about him. The kid of innocence that Draco often associated with a certain blonde Ravenclaw. The similarities between Jeremy and said Ravenclaw didn't end there though. The real reason Draco had no qualms about having Jeremy teach him to play was that Draco had heard the boy muttering about Nargles on his way past. It was something of a deal-maker.

Either way, Nargles or no, Jeremy spent twenty-five long minutes saying things like, "Almost. Just move your finger up a bit," and. "That was rubbish. She'll hate you forever."

Because apparently Draco had somehow told Jeremy the whole awful story. Jeremy was very easy to talk to about things like non-feelings. Jeremy was also the only person who could possibly ship Draco and Luna harder than Draco's mind could. His mind was feeling a wee bit threatened to be honest. It was a strange feeling. Suddenly, Jeremy was snapping his fingers right in front of Draco's face and Draco was jolting back a little.

Jeremy sighed and sat down beside Draco, taking the guitar back and fiddling with the tuning pegs. Draco didn't think there was anything wrong with them, but Jeremy fiddled for a good two minutes before saying, "So. D'you think your Ravenclaw girl will fall for this?"

Draco's chest didn't _bloom_ , thank you very much. But it did somersault all the way 'round until it felt like it was actually his back. He did his best to feign nonchalance as he answered gruffly, "Why? Do you think she will?"

Jeremy shrugged and tightened up another string, "I dunno. Maybe if you wrote her a song. Girls love the artsy ones."

"Jeremy, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said to me. And I don't write music or poetry."

 _Lies_ _!_ Draco's mind was making a surprise guest appearance at the most inopportune time. _You_ _totally_ _,_ _ **totall**_ _y_ _write_ _poetry_ _._ _And_ _you_ _would_ _110%_ _write_ _some_ _for_ _Luna_ _._ _Because_ _you_ _looooove_ _her_ _. Haha haha haha_ _haha_ _!!!_

Draco's mind belonged in a mental institute. A loony bin. Which made him think of Luna. Oh Circe, he was really whipped.

Jeremy stared at Draco for a long time and Draco paled dramatically, slapping a hand to his mouth. He whispered, "Did I say all of that out loud?"

Jeremy gave him a slow nod and grinned, "It's not the first time either."

"We've only known each other for twenty-seven minutes! How could it not have been the first time?!"

"Every time you get a chord wrong, you mutter about how Luna better dam well appreciate this much effort."

Draco was going to crawl away and die in a hole. A shame hole. Built of shame and fortified with embarrassment. But first, he was going to kill Jeremy so he couldn't tell anyone anything.

* * *

 

Luna giggled as she watched Draco pounce on the first year sitting beside him. She chortled as the boy squealed and laughed while running away from a fuming Draco. Draco himself made Luna laugh as he tried to run while still clutching a guitar. 

Speaking of the guitar, Luna made a mental note to tell Draco that she damn well appreciated the effort.


	8. A Letter Home

Dear Mum,

You know how excited I was about that new guitar and how hard I worked to save up for it? I've gone and sold it to Draco Malfoy. I'm sure you have questions as to why I did such a rash thing and why I'm associating with a Malfoy after you told me not to, but I assure you, I have good reason.

For one, Draco paid me three times to guitar's worth and offered to make sure no one picked on me in exchange for lessons. The assurance that I'll be left alone was enough to convince me, but the money certainly doesn't hurt. That reminds me: will you put in an order for the exact same type of guitar, then use the rest of the money to help around the house? You'll have to go to Diagon Alley to get it changed into Muggle money, but it should be quite a help.

Anyway, Draco offered to 'protect me from my peers' as he put it. As pretentious as that sounds, it's exactly what I needed. Some of the older Slytherins found out that I'm not a Pureblood (which is exactly what it sounds like; someone with only wizard blood), so they like to make fun of me and call me names. Nothing I can't handle. What was really inconveniencing me was when they would trip me and hide my things. But Draco managed to make them stop. He didn't come out and say anything, but every time they want to follow me around, he tells them that's stupid and boring and that he'd much rather play a trick on Potter and Weasley. It always works.

Draco's also introduced me to his friends, Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson. Of course, he didn't come right out and introduce us. It was all very cloak and dagger, but he told them that he owed me something and that they were to help me out when they could.

One other person Draco introduced me to is Luna Lovegood. She's a girl who people often make fun of, just like me. Only, it's worse for her. Apparently, she and her father are oddballs, even among wizards and witches. Kids like to call her Loony Lovegood and they take her things and hide them in awful places. Things like that would make me right angry, but Luna's too good for that. I used to think she just didn't know they were being mean, but since I've started talking to her, I've realized that she's just the rare type of person who manages to rise above base torment.

The other reason I bring up Luna is because she's the reason Draco needed my guitar and lessons in the first place. He's totally besotted with her. Head over heels in obsession. Currently, he's learning to play the guitar so that he can tell Luna that hr plays guitar and then she will take part in a talent show that we're having here. It's kind of hilarious how hard Draco is trying.

He had his first practice with Luna just the other day and it was one of the most magnificent things I've ever seen in my life. I wasn't supposed to be there originally, but Draco decided it would help his image if he showed up with a 'poor child in need of his protection'. Don't worry, he's only half as pompous as he sounds.

Anyway, Draco and I were in the Room of Requirement, which is something I didn't know existed until this week. Basically, it's a room that adapts the the wishes of its occupant and all they have to do is think of what they want. It's quite splendid.

Okay, back to the story. We were in the Room and Draco had ordered up a large grand piano for effect and had a tall wooden stool appear for him to sit on while he played. I thought up a big comfy armchair in the corner of the room and just watched Draco mess around for a while. Then, all of a sudden, he kind of froze up and watched the door open. I thought some monster was going to walk in and eat us, but a girl with platinum hair and huge eyes slipped in and smiled like she was sleeping. It was right creepy.

Draco unfroze and just sighed, "Luna, you're late."

She ignored him and walked right up to me and said, "Did you know that Nargles are real no matter what everyone says?"

SHE BELIEVES IN NARGLES, TOO, MUM! I KNEW I WASN'T CRAZY TO READ THE QUIBBLER MAGAZINE!

After she said that, Draco and I both kind of stared at her as she sat down at the piano. She kind of looked at Draco out of the corner of her eye and half whispered, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

Draco kept staring. His mouth was open a little bit. He kind of looked like he was having an argument with himself in his mind. He tends to do that quite a bit if I'm honest. Serving about Luna just makes him conflicted I guess.

Anyway, the practice went alright. Originally, I was supposed to only be there to help make Draco look good, but he only knows so many chords, so I had to take over part way through. Luna was delighted. She's never seen a real guitar, if you can believe it. I ended up agreeing to teach her to play when I have spare time. Draco's informed me that I will have no spare time until well after the talent show.

A note about Draco: he's not as awful as he seems in this letter. He's actually quite...brotherly. Or I imagine he is. A real representation of an older brother. One who doesn't want to be seen with you because you're not cool, but is looking out for you on the sidelines. Even when he's ordering me around, there's a part of me that thinks he's only ordering because he doesn't want to seem weak by asking. He's like a real older brother.

Something that troubles me though, is his obsession with Luna. Not to say that Luna isn't wonderful, because she really is. It's just...an obsession. Blaise and Pansy seem to think he's in love with her, but they haven't really spent any time together. He doesn't really seem to know her on a personal level. But I hope he gets to know her. I think Luna would be foot for Draco. He needs someone like her to balance out how serious he is. And I think she makes him feel lighter in general.

I have to go now. Draco's coming up the stairs for his usual lesson and I'm not supposed to tell anyone about the lessons or his obsession with Luna. Don't forget my guitar, and I'll write more soon, Mum.

Love,  
Jeremy


	9. An Unexpected Partnership

Luna thoroughly enjoyed categorizing the different shades of Draco's face. Like the shallow yellow he turned whenever she mentioned something particularly kind Neville did for her. Or the exact shade of magenta that came about when she vocalized her thoughts about his strange habit of staring at her for long periods of time. What Luna found especially fascinating though, was the number of changes in colour that Draco was suffering right at the moment.

He'd started with the typical yellow when she'd mentioned that Neville thought it was a wonderful idea for her to participate in the show. Then, he'd slowly shifted to bright red as she'd told him exactly what Ginny had thought about Draco learning to play guitar. Now, he was a shade of purple, tinged with blue, that she'd never seen. The reason, she suspected, was that he had not taken a breath in approximately a minute and a half.

Luna was about the ask Jeremy if he thought a person ought to be blue and purple when Drago suddenly let all his air out in one breath and whispered harshly, " _What do you mean you're supposed_ _to_ _sing with a_ _ **partner**_?"

Luna shrugged, "I saw the actual sign up sheet and right above my name, there was Cho's name along with one of friends' names. I don't really recall who. Maybe that one with brown hair? I've always thought she would look much better if she let some piknittles do her hair. They do this braid like-" she lifted her hands to demonstrate on her own hair and Drago grabbed her hands, effectively cutting her off.

Every thing was quiet for a long second and Luna could have sworn she heard Draco squealing under his breath and then saying something about ' _let go of her hands you dope! You're making_ _things_ _weird'_

She made a mental note to do some research on what type of creatures forced their hosts to talk to themselves. In fact, she was fairly sure she had recently read about a particular species of wisps who did things like this. Maybe she should mention them to Draco?

Before she could, Draco growled, "Who - exactly - did you sign up to sing with you?!"

"Oh, yes. You of course."

There was a gasp, a muffled thump, and quite a few curses that Luna didn't care to repeat as Jeremy fell off his chair and Draco fainted dead away.

* * *

Draco's first conscious thought was that he was going to kill someone. He wasn't quite sure who it would be, but he knew for a fact that someone needed to be silenced. Someone had suggested something so preposterous that they must be buried seventeen feet under as soon as possible so that they could never repeat it to anyone else.

His first suspect was Blaise. That wanker probably said something to Luna about Draco being head over heels for her. That's something he would do. Or maybe Pansy suggested too loudly that Draco had been staring at Potter's arse. That's definitely something she would do. But Draco was almost positive that he hadn't been doing that before fainting. 

Oh, that's right. He'd fainting. And from the feel of it, he was still laying on the ground. He would probably have an easier time figuring out who had wronged him if he opened his eyes.

With a tremendous effort, Draco forced his eyes open partially to see Jeremy's face less than an inch from his. Rather than jumping back, he just let his eyes close again and resigned himself to death by humiliation. But then he heard Luna's voice. She was saying something about taking him to the Infirmary. That wouldn't do at all. Nope, not one tiny bit. He couldn't have anyone else knowing he fainted. So, with a groan, he rolled over onto his stomach and forced himself up to his knees.

When he managed to open his eyes again, Luna was sitting cross-legged in front of him, smiling. When she realized he had his eyes open and was looking at her, she smiled even wider, showing almost all her teeth. She leaned closer slightly and Draco thought his heart was actually going to stop. His brain, fortunately, suffered no such fate. It jumped into overdrive.

_Draco. This is IT. It's happening. This is not a drill. Luna has realized that she likes you at least a little bit and she is either going to kiss you or smell your hair. Who even knows. Why am I being so calm? I should be freaking out. You should be freaking out! Stop talking to me and just freak out or something!_

Draco leaned as far away from Luna as possible. He didn't exactly know why, but he didn't want whatever Luna was thinking. He had a sneaking suspicion that it was because he knew she deserved better than him, or at least she deserved to know him better. Maybe he just knew he wasn't ready and knew that he should wait until he actually knew Luna a little bit. Plus, if he was completely honest with himself, Luna wasn't going to do anything at all. But one thing he knew for sure was that his mind was _pissed._

_What the actually bloody hell, man?! She was right there! You could have gone for it!_

_Yeah, but Jeremy is still in the room, right?_

That calmed his brain right down and Draco was finally able to focus on the fact that the world had moved on. He held up a hand to stop Jeremy in the middle of his sentence and said, "Okay. Stop right there, mate. I didn't hear I word you just said. Start over."

Jeremy rolled his eyes and said, "Well I was saying that maybe it wouldn't be too horrible if you sang with Luna. I mean, then you could keep an eye on everyone and make sure no one is making fun of her and also make sure Neville isn't getting too close."

There were so many things wrong with that whole thing that Draco barely knew where to start. First priority was, of course, to deny anything that could suggest that Draco was not cool with Neville eyeing Luna up, "I don't care who thinks Luna is embarrassing herself or who is getting close to drooling on her shoes."

Jeremy gave him a dry look that said, _'My friend, you're being a pompous idiot. And it is not befitting of your character._ ' Or he might have been saying, _'Dig your head out of your ass. It's not a hat.'_

So Draco swallowed the other choice comments he had ready about Luna's pending performance and turned his focus to the other unacceptable part of what Jeremy had said. The bit about Draco singing. How ludicrous. "I am not singing with Luna. What a dumb idea. Why would I be?"

Luna shrugged and said, "I already signed you up. Right before Dumbledore took down the sign up sheet and made it permanent. He wasn't going to, but I think he saw your name because he got really excited about someone singing up on stage. He bound everyone on the list to honor their commitment and then ran off, giggling about telling professor Snape."

* * *

Luna decided that her favourite shade on Draco's face was the combination of red and green that he turned right before he grabbed Jeremy's sleeve and ran from the room. If she could just get him to turn that colour on stage, she was sure they would win and he could go on his Nargle hunting expedition. With that happy thought, Luna gathered up her bag and music and left the room of requirement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to have the story completely updated before Christmas, so there should be a bunch of updates in quick succession coming up! Yay!


	10. Jeremy Lays Down the Law

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I'm super excited for this chapter! Jeremy is my favourite character at this point, so I'm always excited to write from his perspective. This chapter contains a lot of background on Jeremy that I wasn't going to include at this point, but it just kind of happened, so I hope it turned out okay. Anyway, here's Jeremy!

Jeremy didn't really know what was going on as Draco dragged him out of the Room of Requirement. When he'd told Draco that he was magically bound to a talent show, he thought Draco would have tried to laugh it off and freaked out in private. In fact, he'd been so confident that he was safe from Draco's indubitable panic that he'd dropped the bomb in front of Luna.

It appeared, however, that Jeremy had been wrong.

Draco was wigging out right in the middle of the corridor outside the Room. He was in such a state that there was a high likelihood that he'd still be there when Luna left the room. In fact, he would most likely be there no matter who walked by. And as much as Jeremy wanted Draco's ego taken down peg, no one was allowed to laugh at Draco except Blaise, Pansy, Luna, and Jeremy himself. And that was final.

And so, Jeremy grabbed Draco's wrist and hauled him the heck out of there. They rounded a corner and Jeremy shoved Draco behind a tapestry and into a secret tunnel. Inside, there was a small stone bench against the wall with a candle on it. Jeremy let Draco wander over to the bench and sit down as he took the candle and lit it with a spell he'd heard Hermione Granger use recently. Then, setting the candle in a tiny niche in the wall, he settled down to wait out Draco's panic.

An hour later, Jeremy was mostly finished his Charms essay and he was starting to get hangry. Draco had been sitting catatonic the whole time and hadn't batted an eyelash when Jeremy had announced that he was having some trouble with the essay. Normally Draco would have been more than willing to help out, as it was an opportunity to show off his 'superior knowledge'. But in this case, Jeremy knew Professor Flitwick would notice the decreased level of quality in Jeremy's work. And then the professor would ask him yet again if his housemates were giving him a rough time about his parentage.

You see, Jeremy was most definitely not a pure blood. He was, in fact, Muggle born. There was some wizarding blood very far back on his mother's side, but it was at least five generations removed. It was so distant that his family only remembered his four times great-grandfather as 'Crazy Uncle Rupert who thought he could fly". It wasn't until Jeremy's significantly brother, Dominic, had shown signs of magic that anyone had thought any more of Uncle Rupert.

Dominic had also attended Hogwarts. He'd been a first year in 1985 and graduated the first year Harry Potter attended, 1991. He'd received more than his fair share of torment from his classmates. He'd been part of a class when people were still horrifically bigoted, but were also a little terrified to admit it out loud, lest they be single out at a follower of He Who Must Not be Named. So Dominic suffered a lot of missing personal items and many, many silent glares. He'd had no friends for the first two years of his Hogwarts life, except other terrified Muggle borns. He often said that seeing Harry Potter arrive at Hogwarts was easily within his top ten memories of school because it meant that maybe people would start to realize that He Who Must Not Be Named was really gone and it was no longer acceptable to ostracize people.

Dominic was the reason Jeremy's mother was so worried about Jeremy at school. In fact, she'd told him before he'd left that he should be proud of his Muggle roots, but he should keep the information under his hat at all costs. So Jeremy had tried, but a few people had siblings who remembered Dominic and let it be known that Jeremy came from Muggles.

With one of his critical secrets out in the open, Jeremy felt that following the other advice his mother had given him was even more crucial. One such instruction was to avoid certain people, such as Draco Malfoy. While his mother had never met a Malfoy of any description, she had made several magical friends during Dominic's Hogwarts years. Those friends had warned her to stay away from the Malfoys, as they were particularly vocal about their distaste for Muggle-born witches and wizards. So when Jeremy had arrived at Hogwarts, he'd done his very best to avoid Draco at all costs.

Now, every time he wrote home, he was delighted to surprise his mother with how nice Draco was to him. Sure, he was rude and haughty, but much less so than Jeremy had previously thought. Plus, Draco really did keep Jeremy relatively safe from anyone who wanted to "punish the Mudblood for his dirty heritage". 

In turn, Jeremy felt it was his job to help protect Draco from people who wanted to punish him for his family. It was only fair. 

That was the real reason Jeremy was struggling to finish his essay in the awful half-light of the secret passage. He was about to call it a night when there was a weird gasp thing and Draco fell off the bench.  Jeremy rolled his eyes and muttered, "You're a right drama queen, Malfoy."

Draco looked around bewildered, "Where are we?"

Jeremy shrugged, "I saw one of the Weasley duck in here the other day. I figured it must be safe if they were willing to walk in without any candles. Are you hungry yet? Cause I'm going down to supper."

"Yeah, sure. But why are we in here?"

"You kind of completely lost your mind a little bit. It was actually pretty funny."

"Wait, so am I to believe that Luna actually signed me up to sing with her? And Dumbledore already knows?! And I'm now magically bound to honor the commitment that I didn't even make?!"

Draco was getting pretty hysterical again, but Jeremy couldn't find it within himself to actually care, so he just said, "Yeah.  See you later, mate."

And with that, he left the tunnel and headed down to supper. If he was lucky, Blaise and Pansy would be around to keep an eye out for angry Slytherins. 

* * *

Draco stayed sitting in the gross, shadowy passage for a while longer. He tried to think about what he was going to do about singing with Luna, but mostly all he thought about was Jeremy's essay sitting on the bench beside him. He knew for a fact that Jeremy had willfully left it there for him to go over, so he was trying to decide if he should. Cause he really didn't want to start getting to attached to Jeremy. And he really didn't want Jeremy starting to depend on him too much. But that essay. It was probably chock full of horrendous grammatical errors. 

With a scowl, Draco picked up the essay and a quill and started reading. By the time he got to the second paragraph, there was a faint smile on his face. After all, he might not want to get too attached, but it was damn decent of Jeremy to get Draco away from public for his panic attack. Draco made a mental note to be nice to Jeremy eventually. 

* * *

Three days later, Jeremy was so officially done with Draco that he was considering telling people that Draco was head over heels for Luna just so that Draco would quit skulking around. And it was during supper that Jeremy finally snapped. 

Draco was staring at the doors of the Great Hall, waiting for Luna to walk in so he could make a dumb remark about Luna's hair. Jeremy had tried to tell Draco the same story four times when he finally stood up, grabbed Draco's sleeve and dragged him out of the Great Hall. Draco, surprised as he was, tried to play it cool until they were around the corner. There, he hissed, "Oi! What the hell? I wasn't done eating! I want to go back to bloody supper!"

"No. Draco, you're being pathetic."

"Ouch, hit me where it hurts. I'm mortally wounded. Please leave me to die with my dignity."

"Malfoy, I'm so serious that you might as well say I'm an escaped convict from Azkaban and Harry Potter's godfather. You need to pick your jaw up off the ground or Luna might slip on the drool and break her neck."

Draco stared at Jeremy for a long moment before saying in a small voice, "I do _not_ drool."

"Sure you don't. Now you listen and you listen good. I am sick and tired of you brooding and following Luna around like a lost puppy. You're better than that! And plus, she's never going to fall for you if you're too busy staring at her arse to actually talk to her!"

Draco grumbled, "I've talked to her. Just not that much."

"Draco. You. Need. To. Get. A. Life."

"I'm fine. Nothing is weird about this. This is exactly what Potter did with Cho."

"Yeah, and see how well that turned out? She picked a different guy! Know why? Because confidence is sexy and Cedric had confidence! Cedric had a life!"

"How dare you compare me to Cedric Diggory!"

"Fine, how about I compare you to a, gasp, a _Weasley_? Ginny Weasley. She's had a thing for Potter for her whole life. But what did she do? Moved on, okay? And now she's got Potter panting after her because she isn't acting interested. You want Luna to pay attention, you need to get your own life. She's not going to like you if your only interest is her. That only works on Slytherin girls."

Draco was quiet for a long time and Jeremy got the distinct impression he was considering pouting. Just as Jeremy was about to threaten to do something awful, Draco sighed and muttered, "You can be a real ass noodle, you know that?"

"But I'm not wrong. Get a life."

"Fine. I might. But I do have to sing with her at the talent show. So I don't know how I'm going to avoid her."

"Technically, it doesn't say you have to sing. You could do an interpretive dance if you really wanted."

Draco turned the same colour as a grape and stomped off back to the Great Hall. Jeremy gave himself a pat on the back and flounced off towards the Slytherin common room. He had done something good today and he was going to reward himself with a well earned movie marathon. Hopefully, by the time he was done, Draco would have figured his shit out.


	11. Seperation

Draco was down right furious with Jeremy. How dare that, that little wanker try and tell him to man up?! It was outrageous! It was ridiculous! It was...it was....

 _It was a little hurtful,_ pouted Draco's brain _.  
_

With a scowl, Draco shook his head and continued on his war path to the Great Hall. He was going to make sure that little squirt apologized! Publicly! But not super publicly because Draco still wanted to keep a low profile about being friends with Jeremy. Suddenly, Draco's mind whispered, _That's probably more than a little hurtful for Jeremy, too._

**_Shut up, Brain. I can have you replaced you know._ **

Draco's brain kind of frowned and said, _Well, I bet it is. The poor bloke is trying his best to help you out. And he really did give you some pretty good advice. Plus, it seems like he really does care about your well-being. You should be nicer to him. I bet Luna would be nicer to him._

_**Oh, what do you know anyway?**   
_

_Clearly more than you. You're the one personifying your own brain. I think you've got a problem. Now be normal. We're almost at the Hall._

Draco scowled even harder at himself and stomped into the Great Hall. Regardless of what his brain thought, needed to have a serious discussion with Jeremy.

* * *

Pansy had been sitting down to a nice, quiet, late supper in the Great Hall with Blaise when Jeremy stormed in. He was muttering under his breath and waving his fists around wildly. It was very entertaining, but Pansy knew that Draco would be upset with her if she let Jeremy go around making a spectacle. Draco already had enough trouble trying to keep Jeremy away from the more deadly Slytherins, and he didn't need to extra pressure that would come with Jeremy acting insane. 

So Pansy nudged Blaise with her shoe and nodded towards Jeremy. Blaise sighed and turned around, stuck his foot out, and tripped Jeremy so that he stumbled right into the table. A few people around them chuckled, then went right back to eating without any comment. Jeremy sank down into his seat guiltily and muttered, "Sorry."

Pansy simply rolled her eyes and stuffed more potatoes in her mouth. It was Blaise who raised en eyebrow and demanded to know what happened. Jeremy blushed a light pink and mumbled under his breath. Pansy's ears perked up, as she knew that if someone had been awful to Jeremy, she got to exact revenge. She hoped it was the twit Claire. She'd been dying to put ageing potion in that bitch's shampoo.

But Jeremy wouldn't say anything about who'd upset him. He wouldn't even give hints. He didn't even smile when Blaise started coming up with potential punishments for the offender, like he normally did. In fact, Jeremy just took a deep breath, sat up a little straighter and let his new-found Slytherin mask slide into place.

As proud as she was that Jeremy had mastered the mask, Pansy was a bit peeved that it'd happened at such an inconvenient time. She was about to voice her complaint loudly and very vulgarly, when Draco marched into the Hall, looked at the table, then promptly turned sharply on his heel and marched right back out.

 _Of course_ , Pansy rolled her eyes, _of course that arsehole went and said something to Jeremy. I swear, it's like he doesn't even want friends._

And just like that, Pansy dropped the matter, and kicked Blaise under the table until he let it go too. If Draco was going to be a dickhead to his charge, it was none of their business, especially if Jeremy didn't want to talk about it. Draco probably said something so awful that Jeremy was going to leave them and never speak to them again. Too bad, though. Jeremy was one of the lackeys that Pansy actually liked. But it wasn't up to her to do anything. 

But as Pansy stood up to go back to her various romantic pursuits, she looked back at Jeremy scowling at his plate and looking like he was about ready to die inside. And something possessed her to pat his hand and say as reassuringly as she could, "Don't worry. I'll turn his nose invisible tomorrow when he isn't looking."

Jeremy's head snapped up and a ghost of a smile crossed his features before he shrugged and went back to poking his roast beef. Pansy smiled at him and glided out of the room. Blaise shook his head and followed after her. He was going to shave off Draco's eyebrows tonight and he wanted the satisfaction of doing it the Muggle way, so he had some preparations to make.

* * *

Draco was sitting in a secluded corridor a ways away from the Great Hall, with his eyes closed, and his arse numb from sitting so long on the floor. He could have made himself a pillow to sit on, but he felt he didn't deserve it. After kind of agreeing with Jeremy, Draco's pride had been so wounded that he ignored Jeremy for a full day, then called him a Mudblood to his face, and ignored/avoided him some more. At this point, Draco was so ashamed of himself that he didn't even know how to approach Jeremy at all. 

Draco was just setting his head in his hands when quiet footsteps started down the corridor. Draco was so miserable that he just ignored them. They stopped right in front of him, and he sensed someone bending down. Hair tickled his fingers and when he finally peeked up, Luna Lovegood's face was looking at him curiously. Draco scowled and snapped, "What you do you, Loony?"

"You missed rehearsal. And Jeremy looked sad about it. I thought it'd be best for me to come find you and make sure the Nargles didn't get you."

Draco huffed out a laugh and muttered, "I never can tell if you're serious or not. You're just so strange."

To Draco's surprise, Luna sat down beside him and said, with a huge smile, "Most times I'm serious, but exaggerated. Of course the Nargles didn't get you. They're fairly peaceful in my experience. I just say things like that so that people leave me alone to my research. Can you imagine how difficult it would be to hunt secretive creatures with an entourage following behind me?"

Draco managed a weak smile and said, "That makes sense. And I think that's the most you've ever said to me in one go."

Luna smiled hugely and said, "Well, we can talk more, if you like. As long as you promise to whisper. Because I'm going to go see what kinds of creatures I can find in the dungeons and I'll probably get lost. I could use help navigating."

Draco tired not to let his smirk eat his entire face. He stood and started off down the corridor towards the dungeons. Luna caught up easily and whispered, "I'm glad you decided to come with me. The dungeons are fascinating."

Draco's smile got even bigger. He was going to use this time as best he could and he was actually going to start to get to know Luna. Also, he promised himself he would apologize to Jeremy. But for now, he was going to learn everything about Nargles if it helped him get closer to Luna.

* * *

Up in the Room of Requirement, Jeremy finished an essay for History of Magic that wasn't due for another two weeks. He'd been waiting for at least two hours. The only person who'd made an appearance was Luna, and she'd only stayed long enough to hear that Draco probably wasn't coming. Then she'd left to go hunt the dungeons for her creatures. She'd invited Jeremy, but he'd decided to hang around and wait to see if Draco would show up. But he hadn't. 

Jeremy sighed, packed up his things, and left the Room. He hoped Pansy put troll vomit in Draco's trunk tonight.


	12. Marshmallows

Draco arrived just in time to see Luna's homework turn into cinders. It was really quite sad. He knew she'd worked really hard on it. If he'd only gotten there a minute or so earlier, he probably could have talked the seventh year Slytherins out of burning it. But as it was, he got there too early to claim ignorance, but too late to actually do anything without looking like a fool.

Instead, he forced a mean smirk on to his face and sauntered up to the small blaze. He didn't recognize any of the Slytherins, but he was fairly sure his father owned their fathers for the next forty years with how much debt they'd accumulated. So he said, "This looks like right fun. But you bugger off and bother someone else. I feel like tormenting her on my own."

The Slytherins scowled, but shuffled off, pausing every few steps. With a sigh, Draco stunned the ground next to one of them. They scattered right away.

When Draco finally turned back to Luna's homework, Luna herself had materialized next to it with a marshmallow and a stick. As Draco watched in mild horror and fascination, Luna poked the homework around, speared the marshmallow, and held it over the remainder of the flames. She looked up at Draco and asked, very pleasantly, "Would you like one?"

Draco was about to say no, he most definitely did not, that was ridiculous, when all the bluster suddenly went out of him. He sat down beside her and nodded, "Yeah, that sounds great right now."

Luna pulled another marshmallow and stick out from her bag and handed them to Draco. He speared it and let it hang over the flames. Luna nudged his hands, "It'll burn if you leave it there. Haven't you ever roasted a marshmallow?"

"Not really. My family isn't much for outdoor activities or fires of frivolousness in general."

Draco had no idea where this sudden candor was coming from. He kept waiting for his brain to start yelling at him that Luna didn't want to hear this and that she wouldn't like him if she knew he had literally no childhood, but his brain remained suspiciously silent. So he did some awkward improv: "So. Marshmallows. They're pretty good, right?"

"Actually, I prefer chocolate frogs."

Draco carefully filed that information away while trying to impress Luna with his vast knowledge of chocolate frog cards, "Oh. Me too, I guess. I have, like, seven cards."

That was a lie. Draco had two cards, exactly. And they were doubles of Dumbledore that he had forgotten to throw away. But Luna smiled, so it was worth it, right? Things were going well, weren't they?

But then Luna dropped a bomb, "What is you family like?"

Draco stared a Luna silently. He could think of absolutely nothing to say. Not one word was going to come out of his mouth anytime soon. Thankfully, though, he didn't have to because right then his marshmallow exploded all over him. Because of course Lina couldn't have normal marshmallows. She needed exploding wizard ones.

Little bits of burning stickiness were all over Draco's clothes and face and hair. Oh Merlin, _his hair._ He was never going to get that out now. It was a good thing he like Luna, or else he would have hexed her into next week. As it was, Luna ignored the explosion and just carried on with a story about her family, "Well, my dad and I live alone, and we have hunts every Sunday during summer. And when I'm home for holidays, we go to the Leaky Cauldron and guess what kind of creatures are infecting people who pass by."

Draco nodded, picking little bits of awful out of his hair. He dared to ask, "Do you...do you really believe in all the creatures you read about?"

Luna thought about it for a moment, "Yes, mostly. But I only go looking for them because it's easier than trying to talk to people about them. I figure it's enough to just see them than trying to get people to listen all the time."

Something in Draco's chest shuddered. If he didn't know better, he would have thought it was his heart. Hesitantly, he muttered, "Well, you could, I don't know, talk to me about them. I promise I'll only fall asleep halfway through."

Luna's smile grew even bigger and she said, "That could be fun. But you still didn't tell me about your family."

"I, um, they're there I guess? We kind of stay out of each others' ways most of the time."

"That sounds very lonely. You should get a pet. Like a ferret."

Draco choked on his own spit trying not to yell at Luna. But when he looked at her, she was staring at the fire with a huge smile and it suddenly dawned on him that first of all, that right there was totally a shit-eating grin and the only reason no had noticed it yet was because it just looked more innocent than most. And second of all, maybe there were worse things in the world than Luna making fun of him. So Draco forced a pout on his face and muttered, "That was a low blow, Lovegood."

"Not as low as when you were a ferret. That is what some would consider a career low."

Draco rolled his eyes, "You're much more aware than you let people believe, aren't you?"

"Oh yes. Of course I know what's going on around me. I'm a Ravenclaw, after all. I seek knowledge."

"But why do you let people think you're loopy?"

"Do you know how difficult it is to wander the halls late at night when people think you know what you're doing? The teachers let me around because they think I have no idea that it's even night. They think I can't cause any harm. But some of my best work has been done at night."

Draco's eyebrow shot up, "Like what?"

Luna smiled hugely again. Totally a shit-eating grin, without a doubt, and she whispered. "Once I followed some pilnicks to the Slytherins' common room and since I was there anyway, I switched all the portraits around and hexed them to say only nice things about Muggles."

"THAT WAS YOU?!"

Luna giggled, "Of course it was. But you can't tell anyone, or I won't be able to do anything anymore."

"Well, I might consider not telling anyone, as long as you promise that your next trip will be to Gryffindor tower and you'll do something awful there."

Luna looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I promise."

Draco got a little lost looking into her eyes. But luckily his brain chose that moment to save him.

_Okay, Drackie, that's quite enough for today. Tomorrow you can profess your undying love for her. Today, I think we will stop at agreeing to listen to her and keep her secrets. But also, you tOTALLY TALKED FOR MORE THAN TWO MINUTES TO LUNA LOVEGOOD AND THAT'S A PRETTY BIG STEP FORWARD AND I THINK IT'S SAFE TO START THINKING ABOUT NAMES FOR YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD. But like, don't say any of them out loud because you suck at naming things._

"Scorpius," Draco said out loud.

_Serious mate? What the hell, man. That name stinks. I don't care if your family has a thing about naming innocent children dumb names, that is unacceptable._

Luna looked at Draco in a kind of a pensive way and said, "What's Scorpius? Is it a star?"

The slightly more Slytherin part of Draco's brain jumped in and before Draco knew what he was doing, he was offering to meet up with Luna in the Astronomy Tower at midnight to show her constellations and whatnot. And then Luna was agreeing. And suddenly Draco had what he thought was maybe a date with Luna.

He did not skip back to the castle, thank you very much. He just had a very big spring in his step. Very big. But it was fine. No one was outside anyway.

* * *

Up at a window in the castle, Pansy was gripping the windowsill, positively howling with laughter as she watched Draco skip back inside like the happy fairy princess he was inside. She was laughing so hard, in fact, that she couldn't even get enough breath to tell Blaise what she was seeing. Luckily, he looked out just in time to see if for himself. He chuckled and motioned Jeremy over to the window. Jeremy looked out and turned away, heading down the stairs.

He was waiting for Draco at the door, with the wonderful news that Pansy and Blaise had both seen Draco skipping, but he was mildly distracted by the sight of what he was pretty sure was marshmallow all over Draco's clothes and hair. Before he could ask, though, Draco grinned hugely and whisper-yelled, "Jeremy! Luna talked to me! You were totally right about everything and I was an idiot! Isn't that great?!"

Jeremy couldn't really think of anything to say except, "Wow, that is pretty great. I love when you're wrong"

And apparently that was all the prompting Draco needed because he recounted every single detail of his conversation with Luna all the way down to the dungeons.

 


End file.
